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Funny Business with Jane Wells

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  Tuesday, 15 Jan 2013 | 12:49 PM ET

How to Put the 'Crazy' in Crazy Blind Date

Posted By:
Lauren Nicole | Photographer's Choice | Getty Images

Online dating can be a funny business, but one new endeavor freely admits it's crazy.

I have not dated in a loooooooooong time. Thank. Goodness. I admire the courage it takes to put yourself out there and meet someone new. Blind dates, in particular, take the sort of energy and fortitude I wish we could see more of in Washington. (Read More: 12 Unique Dating Sites.)

But has something changed about dating since I got out of the game? Has it evolved to the point where dating sites are actually working against you?

»Read more
  Monday, 14 Jan 2013 | 12:24 PM ET

Time to Tidy Up! It's National Clean Off Your Desk Day

Posted By:
Wells: Clean Off Your Desk Day
CNBC's Jane Wells reports on National Clean Off Your Desk day and finds that if she really cleaned off her desk, she wouldn't be able to find anything. Clearly, messy desks are an epidemic in this U.S.

Monday is National Clean Off Your Desk Day!

Most made up "holidays" are covers for some sort of business promotion. For example, it's also National Dress Up Your Pet Day, which I assume was created by pet stores which sell crazy costumes to put on your poor dog or cat.

»Read more
  Tuesday, 8 Jan 2013 | 3:46 PM ET

Hey Men, It May Be Time to Shave

Posted By:
A Carmichael | Stone | Getty Images

Men get mixed messages. Be manly, but sensitive. When women say "nothing" is wrong, it means everything's wrong. Open the door for me. No, wait, don't patronize me!

Here's a new one. Even though women say they like your three day growth ... most don't.

Men have taken to facial hair in a big way. Scraggly wisps have covered faces as flawless as Brad Pitt's, but kissing such men is leaving women feeling like they've just undergone microdermabrasion therapy.

»Read more
  Thursday, 3 Jan 2013 | 2:23 PM ET

How 'McDreamy' Plans to Resuscitate Tully's Coffee

Posted By:
Source: ABC
Dr. McDreamy

Not every coffee company born in Seattle is a winner. Tully's, a 20-year-old chain founded in the Emerald City, filed for Chapter 11 last fall. The chain had trouble competing in the shadow of Starbucks, and it filed for protection reporting $3.7 million in debts and very little cash.

Much of its debt is owed to Green Mountain Coffee Roasters, which owns Tully's wholesale and roasting businesses.

The remaining part of the company — retail stores, agreements with franchisees and the coffee sold in grocery chains — is in need of a cash infusion immediately. (Read More: Tully's Coffee Parent Files for Ch. 11 Bankruptcy)

Enter Dr. McDreamy.

»Read more
  Thursday, 3 Jan 2013 | 4:18 PM ET

The Worst Movie of 2012 Was Truly Ghastly

Posted By:
Source: Ghastly Johnny X LLC
The Ghastly Love of Johnny X

What do you think was the worst movie of 2012?

"John Carter," a movie so bad Disney wrote it off as a $200 million loss? Well, at least the film brought in an estimated $72 million in ticket sales domestically, plus another $210 million worldwide.

"Cloud Atlas," the confusing film starring Oscar winners Tom Hanks and Halle Berry which cost about $100 million to make? Movie goers did fork over nearly $66 million globally to see it.

Nope, based on ticket sales, the worst movie of 2012 was "The Ghastly Love of Johnny X," a 106-minute long black-and-white $2 million musical fiasco. According to Box Office Mojo, Johnny's box office wasn't boffo. At all. Total ticket sales added up to … $117 ("not a typo" said Yahoo!).

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  Wednesday, 2 Jan 2013 | 2:29 PM ET

The Federal Budget in Household Terms

Posted By:
Grant Taylor | Stone | Getty Images

Talk about funny business, but no one's laughing. We avoided the fiscal cliff ... by adding more debt. Crazy, I know! (Read More: Despite Cliff Deal: 'Nothing Really Has Been Fixed')

It's hard to grasp the outsized numbers coming out of Washington. A trillion here, a trillion there. It's like trying to understand the distance to the next star beyond the Sun. Proxima Centauri is 4.2 light years away. Ok, whatever...

Here, I hope, is a better way to look at what just happened in our nation's capital New Year's Day. (Read More: Why Investors Are Selling Today's Big Rally)

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  Monday, 31 Dec 2012 | 2:17 PM ET

Here's a Wish List for New Laws in 2013

Posted By:
Desiree Navarro | WireImage | Getty Images
"Lucky 13"

Lawmakers make laws. Unfortunately, they make a lot of them. No legislator wants to look like he or she is "doing nothing" for the folks back home.

I say, do nothing! You've done enough already!

The rule of law has become more rules than laws. And how many laws actually address issues we care about? Like stopping the shopper who waits until all of his or her groceries are checked and bagged BEFORE pulling out a checkbook? Arrrrgh, there really oughtta be a law against that.

(Read More: Happy New Law! States Get Hit by 400 New Regs.)

As we wait for our national leaders to "rise above" and solve the "fiscal cliff," what sorts of laws would you like to see in 2013? I asked folks on Twitter, and here are some incisive suggestions.

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  Thursday, 13 Dec 2012 | 8:20 AM ET

Ugly Sweater Day Is Here

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Thursday is US Day. Ugly Sweater Day. The day I wear not one but two ugly holiday sweaters as part of a campaign to raise awareness and money for StandUp2Cancer.

I've blogged about the fundraiser over the past two weeks, explaining how the charity is asking donors to pledge money whenever a friend has the courage to wear an ugly sweater in public during December. Who could resist? If you feel so inclined, here's my pledge page. (Read More: Wearing That Ugly Sweater With Pride)

Thanks so much to those who've already contributed.

"Our mantra is get people excited about the prospect of new approaches to treating cancer," said StandUp2Cancer's co-founder, Kathleen Lobb. "Each and every person can make a difference."

»Read more
  Wednesday, 12 Dec 2012 | 12:00 AM ET

And the Best Place to Work in 2013 Is...?

Posted By:
Getty Images

Where are employees most satisfied in their jobs? Beer tasters at Sam Adams? Photographers at Playboy? Shoppers for Saks? Mickey at Disneyland?

No.

The happiest employees on Earth work at Facebook.

That's according to Glassdoor.com, the website where employees rate their own companies. For the second time in three years, Facebook has come out on top, with a 4.7 rating on a scale of one to five, meaning workers are generally "very satisfied."

»Read more
  Monday, 10 Dec 2012 | 2:27 PM ET

Californians Head to Nevada to Buy Foie Gras

Posted By:
Kevork Djansezian | Getty Images
Foie gras packaged for sale.

Nevada boasts that it has a lot to offer Californians—no income taxes, no corporate taxes, fewer regulations.

And all the foie gras you can eat.

Almost six months after California banned the sale and production of foie gras, or fatty duck liver, a few dozen Californians were heading to Reno over the weekend to buy the contraband product. They were attending a foie gras tasting prepared and hosted by Laurel Pine, owner of Mirepoix USA, a gourmet food company we profiled last June.

Pine moved her business from California to Nevada last year in anticipation of the ban. "My sales have actually doubled, so the ban has been a very good thing for my business." She says all the publicity around the outlawing of foie gras drew attention to the product.

Some long-time liver lovers stocked up, spending hundreds, sometimes thousands, of dollars. Others tried foie gras for the first time to see what the fuss was all about. "It's actually increased interest in the product more than ever."

Foie gras is made from livers that have been plumped up to several times their normal size through force feeding, a process called gavage. Animal rights activists call it cruel. Supporters of foie gras say it is not, that ducks don't have a gag reflex. California lawmakers took the side of animal rights groups in banning the product, but it is still legal in California to possess foie gras. Many chefs and foodies are crossing state lines to buy it or making purchases online from out-of-state sellers.


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About Funny Business

If it was up to Jane Wells, she’d spend her entire day combing Mother Earth for stories and observations just for this blog. She has more fun writing Funny Business than anything else she does... professionally, that is. Funny business is whatever Jane considers hilarious, strange, fishy, or ridiculous, which pretty much covers everything on Wall Street. It is her hope this blog makes you smile, even when the news is grim. After all, it's only money.
  • Based in Los Angeles, Wells is currently a CNBC business news reporter and also writes CNBC.com's “Funny Business.”

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