Pope gives final general audience as controversy still looms

Rome - In his final public gesture as leader of the Roman Catholic Church, Pope Benedict says goodbye to tens of thousands gathered in St. Peter’s Square.

With a cloud of scandal and controversy looming over him and the the church he has served for the last 62 years, Pope Benedict XVI held his final general audience before a packed crowd. Fifty thousand tickets were requested for the event, however many of the Italian media are estimating the crowd could have included as many as 100,000 thousand people. The standing room only crowd marked one of the largest audiences in St. Peter's Square during Benedict's papacy. It had been tradition for the Pope to provide a catechism lesson during his Wednesday appearances, however he chose to make his last general audience much more personable. He thanked those who attended the audience, as well as those around the world who have been praying for him, saying: "Like the Apostle Paul in the biblical text that we have heard, I feel in my heart the paramount duty to thank God, who guides the Church and makes her grow. I feel I carry everyone in prayer, in a present that is God’s, where I recall every meeting, every voyage, every pastoral visit." He then referred to the biblical passage in which Jesus falls asleep in a boat with his disciples on the Sea of Galilee, saying God had granted him “so many days of sun and light breezes, when the fishing was abundant. But there were times when the waters were choppy and, as throughout the history of the church, it looked as if the Lord was sleeping. But I have always known that the Lord was in that boat, that the boat was not mine or ours, but was his and he will not let it founder.” Despite the difficult times, he said he has never felt as if he was alone, thanking his cardinals and colleagues for their guidance and for "understanding and respecting this important decision". He continued by explaining his reasons for becoming the first pope in 600 years, once again saying his strength has begun to decrease and for the good of the church, it was time for him to step down. He acknowledged the fact his decision was "severe" and a "novelty", but said: "Loving the Church also means having the courage to make difficult, trying choices, having ever before oneself the good of the Church and not one’s own." As the tens of thousands of people listened to the Pope, many held banners which said "Grazie!". Prior to his address, the Pope greeted the crowd, riding in an open-sided car, dubbed the "Popemobile". He stopped occasionally, kissing and bless children who were brought to him by his aids. Jan Marie, a 53-year-old native of Rome who in his first years as a seminarian, told The Guardian: "It's difficult, the emotion is so big. We came to support the pope's decision, and feel the air of the church." Fifty-two-year-old Maria Cristina Chiarin said: "I came to thank him for the testimony that he has given the church. There's nostalgia, human nostalgia, but also comfort, because as a Christian we have hope. The Lord won't leave us without a guide." On Thursday, Pope Benedict will meet with his Cardinals for the last time prior to flying to Castel Gandolfo, located approximately 15 miles south of Rome. There he will spend several weeks in reflection before returning to the Vatican. He will be given the title "Roman pontiff emeritu", or Pope Emeritus once his resignation officially goes into effect at 8:00 p.m. Thursday evening. He plans to live out the remainder of his life cloistered at the Vatican, engaging in "prayer, writing, reading and mediation" according to a Vatican spokesman. Those left to elect Pope Benedict's successor face a difficult task. Choosing the man who will lead the worldwide church is always a momentous task, but as accusations of sexual scandals and financial mismanagement continue to swirl, the decision is made all the more arduous. Some of those who will take part in the conclave to elect the next Pope are Cardinals who are accused of failing to remove priests accused of sexually abusing children. On Monday, U.K. Cardinal Keith O'Brien announced he was resigning immediately following allegations of "inappropriate behavior" dating back to the 1980's. Many have expressed outrage that embattled Cardinal Roger Mahony will take part in the conclave after decades of allegations he plotted to conceal child molestation by priests, with Chris Pumpelly, spokesman for Catholics United saying: "This is one thing that would cast a cloud of scandal and shame over the conclave."