Yvonne Connolly: 'I couldn't let my daughters see me cry over my face after my accident'
Yvonne Connolly and Ali Keating at the launch of the Dove Self-Esteem Project. For Weekend.
Yvonne Connolly has had a busy few weeks since summing up the courage to share her story of a horrific 2019 horse-riding accident, in which she nearly lost an eye, with the entire country.
"I always grew up not wanting to rely on my looks and not letting them define me and instilling in my daughters that looks aren't everything,” says the mum of three, who has undergone multiple facial surgeries since the accident.
“On the days that I was down, I would give myself a bit of a slap. I couldn't let my daughters see me going around crying because my face was messed up. What kind of a message is that?"
The television presenter and former model admits that playing tough isn’t always easy, however. “I had my own little daunting moment this morning. It was my first photographic job since I had my accident so I was a little nervous but I was with my daughter and we had the horses with us too so it was fun.”
Yvonne’s daughter, Ali Keating (15), was with her at the time of the accident and called the emergency services to their Kildare home.
"I got kicked by a horse and it broke my arm and a lot of bones in my face: cheekbones, eye bones, eye socket. I nearly lost my eye and my eyesight and I was in intensive care. I have three plates in my face and a lot of scars and that, of course, knocked my confidence. You'd want to be superhuman for it not to," Yvonne says.
Watching the 47-year-old speak through Zoom, you would never guess that she had been through such trauma. Her shiny blonde hair bobs in effortless-looking curls around her face, her smile filling the screen.
“I grew up a very confident young woman. It was definitely because of the love and support of my parents. I had horses in my life as well and I would say that they are very grounding and therapeutic. I think I dealt with it well because I had the tools and skills. Age brings all those things,” Yvonne says, sitting in a cosy looking country sitting room, sun beaming in through the long window behind her.
She couldn’t imagine if the incident had happened when she was younger, however, citing all of the pressures teenage girls are under at the moment.
"My girls are quite open with me. The whole social media thing is always talked about in the house. With Covid, kids are on their phones all the time. So, we'll just talk about Whatsapp groups and friends and about any pressure that they're feeling,” Yvonne says.
“It’s a great conversation to have and it’s one I have not only with my daughters all the time but also with other parents and friends. [Self-esteem] is something that even when I was younger was an issue and it’s become more of an issue with this generation. It’s something that worries everybody. Everyone involved knows the pressure that they’re under. ”
Yvonne and Ali have been working with Dove to promote their new Self-Esteem Project, which aims to provide tools to help young girls grow up enjoying a positive relationship with how they look. In recent research, the brand found that 87% of the 10 to 17-year-olds they surveyed didn’t have high body esteem.
"To hear 87% was shocking but in another way, I wasn't surprised because I do have two young girls and a day doesn't go by in this house where there isn't a conversation about self-esteem and body confidence,” Yvonne says.
"There's a lot of pressure on girls in this day and age to send photographs and selfies and I think that's why image has become so important to them. I don't like to be the person that bashes social media all the time though because I think it can have massive benefits as well.
"When a parent says something to a kid, they don't always really take it on board. But I think with social media there are some good role models out there and there can be great messages and a lot of diversity and transparency. Women are kind of getting together and saying that it's okay not to be perfect."
Yvonne has always put an emphasis on communication in her household, buying parenting books as a young mum and later taking inspiration from her own mother.
"We were talking about 'mammyisms' recently. I was telling my daughter that if I was quiet for more than 10 seconds growing up my mother would say 'penny for your thoughts' and even if you were thinking nothing you would just want to open up," Yvonne says, laughing.
"As a parent, you just want to know what your child is thinking and to help all the time. You don't have to fix every problem straight away, but by starting the conversation you leave those channels open and communication, I think, is key."
Even after raising three children, Jack (22), Missy (20), and Ali, with ex-husband Ronan Keating, Yvonne says that no parent has all the answers.
"I find one of the most difficult things is to find a balance between boosting their self-esteem while not putting too much emphasis on beauty as well. I always want to tell them they're beautiful all the time, every parent does, but then by doing that are you overstating the importance of that?" she wonders aloud.
"I certainly see a shift in the conversation though. With my generation, conversations usually start by saying 'oh you look great' or 'oh you've lost weight' whereas younger women today, a lot of them have stopped doing that. They don't make personal comments about people and that's really refreshing. I think they're leading the way."
Yvonne has gone through a long journey in feeling confident in her own skin, suffering many blows along the way. "I was brought up very confident, but then I started modelling,” she says.
"I think that was the first time my confidence was really knocked because suddenly all eyes were on your size and your face and how you looked. Before modelling, I never thought about that stuff but then after I started thinking 'well I'm not as perfect as the next model' and 'I'm not tall enough’ and this and that. That was the first time I started struggling," she says.
"But age is a great thing and over the years I became very comfortable in my own skin and loved who I was and realised the people around me loved me for who I was and not how I looked. Then, of course, I had the accident.
"I went through a year of just healing. Horses are what got me into it but also what got me through it. I was back riding straight away.
"We use a lot of humour too. I remember going out for dinner with my friend and I had all of these transparent gel covers on my face that my surgeon had given me. They kind of stick on to your face. During dinner, because I got a bit hot, they started to peel and hang off my face and my friend that was with me was like 'Oh Jesus. You're like Mrs Doubtfire'.
"If she hadn't said that I would have been so embarrassed. I had to go to the bathroom and fix everything, but the fact that she said that just had me in stitches. I thought 'what can you do?'. You just have to deal with these things and adapt. I am a pretty resilient person so I just had to get on with it."
In sharing her story, Yvonne hopes that she can inspire other women, including her daughters, to realise that looks aren’t everything and when life knocks you down, all you can do is get back on the horse — which she did approximately four weeks after her near-death experience on behalf of one.
"The girls have seen me go through a lot over their lives. I always say to them that it's great to be strong but it's okay to be vulnerable too. You don't have to be superhuman.”
